2 months

3 band aids from his first set of shots

This last Tuesday, Ezra had his two month appointment. He overall looks great and is healthy and growing well.

Height: 23 3/4 (80%)

Weight: 13lb 6oz (87%)

Head: 15 1/4 (23%)

The doctor checked him over then gave me kind of an uncomfortable look and told me that he needed to go in for a CT scan. Of course I was stunned and asked why. She told me his soft spot was gone. I asked how small it was last month and she said it was the size of a finger tip. She continued to tell me that because the soft spot had closed, it either meant that the sutures (bones in his head that are supposed to take 18-24months to close) had prematurely closed or that they are overlapping. The best case scenario would be that they are overlapping, which could be caused by being tight in the womb and they will eventually move on their own. But it could mean that the bones are growing together and in that case, he'd need surgery. She mentioned she'd only seen this one time and it was in her last practice.

My initial reaction was, "I've gotta keep it together. I'm in the doctor's office. Audrey will worry if I start crying. It'll make things worse if I cry". But the second I got in the car, I called Steve, and I lost it. I couldn't talk for about 30 seconds. Fear consumed me. But he was so calm and tried to get all the details and told me everything was going to be fine. Earlier that morning before Ezra's appointment, Philippians 4:6-7 was in my head. My friend Natalie had shared that her kids got a worship CD called Seeds of Courage and the songs are bible verses put to music. So I checked out a couple songs online that day. Well, a week later was E's appt. And the Lord used those verses to prepare my heart to receive the news about his head.

Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, with prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

So I went home and tried to inform everyone; sent out a big email, posted on Facebook and let our caregroup know so that everyone could start praying. And I don't want to say immediately, but soon after that afternoon, I was overwhelmed by a peace that could have only come from the Lord. I have not cried or gotten emotional since that day and I'm a very emotional person. And not because of a lack of emotion, but because I feel at peace, I'm no longer letting the situation take hold of me and let it consume me. I told myself I wouldn't Google anything on the condition, but I broke down and did anyway because I truly wanted to be informed and I feel like I am a bit now. I've looked at a few before and after surgery pictures which were horrible but the outcomes were wonderful. I won't go on and on about the condition, but if you want to research it, what he could possibly have is called craniosynistosis. If left untreated, the brain runs out of room since the bones are growing together too soon and doesn't allow it to grow horizontally like it should so it grows out more towards the back of the head, causing an oblong shape. This can cause severe swelling and pressure which can result in pain, ear, nose and eye problems and also severe brain malfunctions. But he is not in any pain now and is not experiencing any of the above, as far as we know.

It took 4 days to hear back from the doctor's office to let us know when the scan would be scheduled. The girl that called said that Ezra's pediatrician wants to try the scan without sedation which was what I was told would have to be done originally. What an amazing answer to prayer!! If they don't get a good scan due to him not staying still enough, we'll have to reschedule the scan for a later date. His appointment is scheduled for this coming Monday, the 21st at 1:25 PM at CMC Northeast. Steve had a great idea to bring his swaddle blanket, which he loves, and that will help out to keep him still in the scan. He usually naps most of the afternoon, so I'm hopeful that he'll be sleeping when we get there. Steve will be able to go with us which will be a huge comfort to me.

Please be praying that the scan would go well, that Ezra would lie still and they'd be able to get a clear scan the first time. Pray that what they find will not be the bones growing together and that he will not need surgery. Pray that if it's the Lord's will, He would heal Ezra of this. He is possible of anything and we trust that His plan for Ezra is the very best. So no matter the outcome, we know that ultimately Ezra is in His hands. And please pray that our hearts would continue to be at peace, that we would not be anxious and not allow the potential stress of this situation get to us. For protection from Satan's lies that whisper in our ears. That the Lord's will would be done and that we can rest in his sovereign plan for Ezra and for our family. I will give an update when we have one. Thank you!!

As for God, his way is perfect:

The LORD’s word is flawless;

he shields all who take refuge in him.

For who is God besides the LORD?

And who is the Rock except our God?

It is God who arms me with strength

and keeps my way secure.

Psalm 18:30-32